


Monophobia

by iridescentloner



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hot Chocolate, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Monophobia, Nightmares, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Kisses, Sobbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 03:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11005326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iridescentloner/pseuds/iridescentloner
Summary: Monophobia.Meaning fear of isolation; a morbid fear of being egotistical, or a dread of being alone or isolated.





	Monophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Angst angst angst

Yuuri shot awake. Trembling filled his body. Sweat poured off his tanned Asian skin. The room was silent until he began sobbing uncontrollably. Tears flew out of his eyes as he tried to muffle the noise he was making. Everything was black. Darkness overcame his body and took away the oxygen in his lungs until he was barely breathing at all. It was just choked sobs and quickened breaths. He couldn't scream or yell he could only sit there wait for this to be over. It felt like someone was replacing his blood with ice, like his bones were falling out of him, like the darkness became a figure and trapped him in his thoughts as it wrapped its hands around Yuuri's throat with the nails digging in, like he couldn't move and he was a pile of nothingness. He was awake but dear God he didn't want to be. 

'Worthless piece of shit,' a voice said.

'You can't even control your emotions.'

'You should have cut so deep that you passed out but you're too much of a pussy to do so.'

The hand around his throat dug in harder until he was barely breathing at all. His heart felt as if it would burst any minute. His skin was cold to the touch. The voices got worse and worse and yet he couldn't stop them. He couldn't move. He couldn't yell or scream. Hell, he could barely breath. His mind took him back to the reoccurring dream he had. The one where everyone was no one and something was nothing. The one where he was alone. The one where there was no family or friends. The one where everyone died a tragic death. The one where it was his fault.

 

"Yuuri..?" came a low raspy voice from below. Accent thick and quiet. Victor.

He still couldn't speak, instead he let out a loud sob in which he had been muffling for the past ten minutes. 

Of course Victor's reaction was to wrap his arms around Yuuri and just... hold him. His muscular arms felt a whole lot better than the darkness engulfing him along with his voices. Another sob and a half-scream flew past his lips.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. My arms are around you. You're awake." The Russian pulled him into his chest, arms still wrapped around Yuuri, petting him and talking in a louder voice so that the Asian could hear his words over his own cries and thoughts. 

A shaky inhale stopped the tears from falling. His figure stopped trembling and his anxiety attack had calmed down after five minutes. He was still panicked and a bit weary of his surroundings.

"I'm still here, Yuuri. The things into head is nothing but fake news your anxiety is sending you. It's okay to feel scared. It's okay to feel sad. Just listen to my voice and feel my touch. Know that I'm right next to you." His breathing rate was normal again.

"What happened, baby boy?" 

It took him a while to get the words out until a quiet voice squeaked out of his mouth.

"Monophobia."

Monophobia.

Meaning the fear or being alone. Meaning the fear of being abandoned. The fear of feeling like you're the only one left. A constant fear Yuuri had that mainly occurred during nightmares. It had gotten better over the years and he had just stopped taking pills and going to therapy. Big mistake.

"You're not alone. I'm right next to you. Yurio, Pichit, Chris and all your other friends are still here. Your family is here too. No one has left you. Everybody loves you and is not going anywhere because they love you. I love you, Katsuki Yuuri. My pretty baby boy." 

They sat there for a bit while Victor pet Yuuri's head and rubbed his lower back so that his arms were around the Asians body and they were protecting him from the thoughts. A few leaked tears fell from his eyes but he was almost at ease. Victor thought it was best not to talk about his nightmare until morning just in case he triggered any thoughts to reoccur. He picked Yuuri up so that his face was buried in Victor's neck, his legs around Victor's waist and his arms wrapped gently around Victor's neck. He would have left Yuuri alone and got up alone but he knew what the Asian was like; he didn't like being left alone after an anxiety attack. So he carried him into the kitchen, set him onto the counter so that he was sitting upright and made sure that when he turned the light on it was onto the lowest setting so he didn't hurt Yuuri's eyes as they adjusted.

"What are you doing..?" He flinched as the lights flicked on.

"I'm making some hot cocoa for you. It'll help you sleep." He gave Yuuri's forehead a kiss and made sure to be as gentle as possible with him.

-

After the cocoa finished cooling he gently handed Yuuri a mug of it and he hesitantly drank it. Taking his time so that he wouldn't spill it with his still shaking hands.

"D-don't you want some..?" He offered the mug to the Russian who kindly refused.

"I'll just kiss your lips to taste it." 

Pink painted Yuuri's cheeks as he shyly turned his head.

"Let's get you back to bed, sleepy head." 

Victor picked Yuuri up as he did so before and carried him to their bedroom and lay him down onto the queen sized bed. Pulling the Asian close to him, head in his chest and hands interwound together while the Russian rubbed his hand with his thumb.

"Goodnight, mоя любовь~" Victor said giving Yuuri's lips one last kiss.

"Goodnight, Vitya" he said kissing back lazily.

They weren't the perfect couple, many anxiety attacks occurred, depression was a big thing as well, Makkachin was coming of age and jealousy sometimes became a problem. But they were healthy and happy, at least that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really glad everyone enjoyed my last Fanfiction! I have the same sort of thing Yuuri has in this Fanfiction but it's fear of death.
> 
> Too bad no one loves me am i right hahahhshejwnwkrkehwhqbgejwn


End file.
